rosie abigail

Well, it’s been quite a quiet few months over at Rosie Abigail towers. Sorry about that, lovely readers. It has been a whirlwind few months (more like years) with my health problems. However, I come with good news! After six years of stomach pain, leg weakness, and chronic fatigue, I have a diagnosis – I’m now a card carrying member of the endometriosis club. 

Whilst I’ve had symptoms for about six years, my symptoms become pretty much unmanageable from September 2023. I was in and out of hospital, on different pain medication, and put on the list for a diagnostic and treatment-based laparoscopy. After a scan in April of this year where I was told some bits of my ovary weren’t moving, and a major flare up in June, I was moved up the list for an urgent laparoscopy. 

(Want to jump to my “post-laparoscopy bucket list”? You’ve got it. But you may want to read the context too…)

Working Out & Moving My Body

Look, I’ve never had a great relationship with working out – lifelong asthma and unsupportive PE teachers will do that to a girl. However, as I’ve grown, I have found things that I actually do enjoy. Outside of yoga, which I can do at home and is easy to adapt for high pain days, it’s hard to keep up with the workouts that I enjoy. But now they’ve scraped the endo tissue away, it’s time.

• Golf: I am surprised as you that I have actually started to like, and I mean really like, golf. When you have a husband who loves it, it kind of rubs off on you. I’ve even got my own set of clubs! A lot of golf is in the torso rotation, so it should be a good activity to strengthen my core after the operation. 
• Taekwondo: This won’t be my first rodeo at learning this martial art. I got to yellow belt back when I was a pre-teen (although I can’t remember a single thing I learnt…) Throughout the last few years, as schooling and university ended, I’ve come to realise I don’t have lots of hobbies that are simply for fun, something that is good for my physical and mental health. I’m in contact with a local club so when these stitches are healed, watched out taekwondo, I’m coming for you. 
• Weight training: Now this may be the biggest surprise as I’ve never shown any interest in gym related activities. But I started doing barbell and weight training for someone’s dissertation – something to do with monthly hormones and the effect on how much we can press. I was the designated beginner, but once I tried it, I loved it. I felt strong! My broad shoulders were useful! It made me feel good! Let’s get those gains in. 

Travel and Seeing the World

I don’t think my lack of European and international travel is just down to being chronically ill – I’ll thank the global pandemic for that. But it’s certainly a huge factor. As well as endo, I live with chronic anxiety (GAD) that fixates on health and sickness – so when you get health anxiety mixed with a disease, you either don’t get a lot of travel, or you go somewhere and worry the entire time. For example, I had a great trip away with my girls last summer for four days in Barcelona, but I spent the whole time worrying I was going to be in a flare up, I would have wasted all that money, I was going to be seriously unwell. But I’ve had enough. One thing has been removed from the equation, so let’s do it!

• Hiking: I used to love hiking. I did it all the way through Rainbows, Guides, and Explorer Scouts (just British things), and also with my family. Oddly enough, my asthma isn’t flared up by hiking, unless I go in cold weather. But I can’t imagine anything worse whilst hiking up a hill whilst my insides are trying to explode; no beautiful view is worth that. But now most of my day to day life won’t involve exploding insides, it’s time to break out the old hiking boots. 
• Solo trip: I’m scared of doing a solo trip. Not because I don’t trust myself, oh no – I am a very independent woman who is unafraid of doing things on her own. But I’ve always been scared of coming up against a health problem in an unknown place, and that anxiety disorder never helped. But now the condition that has been causing me the most pain and problems is at bay (for now), I need to take the plunge and do it! Any recommendations on places for a short trip away for a solo trip?
• Zip World: Technically, this should go under the ‘physical’ tab BUT it does involve a travel aspect. I really want to go to Zip World. I want to ride the longest zip line in Europe, go on the aero explorer, the alpine coaster, the rope tree course, play underground golf, and trampoline in a cavern. There is a thrill seeker within me, but it’s hard to acknowledge her when I can barely walk. But now, I can book a beautiful few days in North Wales and throw myself safely into a quarry – perfection. 

Experiences

Having endometriosis has touched every single aspect of my life, even what I do in my own house. I’ve had to cancel on my friends, miss out of exciting events, and even stay in bed for gatherings in my own home. Well, no more! Well, maybe a little more, I can’t control where life will go. But here are the experiences I want to get up to soon – 

• Host dinner parties: Is this my TikTok algorithm talking, or me? I can’t quite tell. But it sounds so wonderful to have something in your own home to look forward to, something that you are planning for others! I don’t know if you can tell, I am a Type A person. I want to do full theming, go full out decor, craft making, tasks; the whole shebang. Some of the themes on my list are Mamma Mia, Italian summer, and the ultimate Lord of the Rings party. 
• Dungeons and Dragons: I have always been a nerd and it has just been getting stronger as I get older. I’ve teetered around the edges of playing the table top roleplaying game D&D before, I have plenty of friends who play it. But after discovering Dropout’s show ‘Dimension 20’ during my bed rest, I fear I no longer want to join a D&D party – it’s a need. 
• Get a tattoo: This one has been on my mind for years, even before I started getting gynaecological problems, and it has been the same tattoo this whole time. I first read Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar when I was seventeen, and each time I have read it since, it has had a profound effect on my life. On the side of my left wrist, I want the words “I am, I am, I am” tattooed. The full quote from the book reads “I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.” For me, it reminds that that after everything I have gone through – depression, anxiety, hospitalisation, endometriosis – I am still here, my heart is still beating, and I got through it all. 

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Thank you for taking the time to read this post! I am excited to look back in a year and see how much I’ve managed to do, but also to see how my condition is doing. I also want this post to serve as a reminder for you – health is not something to be taken for granted. If you have something you have always wanted to do but keep teetering and holding off, what’s stopping you? The world is yours for the taking, my loves. 

Rosie x

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