I am exhausted. I can’t speak in more than a whisper. I’ve twisted my knee. My back is in agony. Did I run a marathon? Did I fall down the stairs? Did I go to the gym? No. I performed in an amateur dramatics show and it’s been the best thing I could have ever done for myself.
All photos by Luke Brough Photography
At the time of writing, I am three days post show; AKA firmly in the post-show blues phase. For four months now, two evenings a week have been dedicated to singing harmonies, learning to dance, and cavorting across the stage. And the last month has been a full immersion into the world of Legally Blonde; Sunday rehearsals, harmonies in the car, getting settled into the theatre with my new-found friends. Now? It’s all over and I feel at a loss.
It was a slow descent into getting involved with am-dram in my local area. Back in the mid-twenty tens, I was studying English Literature and Drama at university, so stage work and study has always been something I love. Not just enjoy, but full on adore. Then life got a bit too grown up and I had to get a job and worry about rent and keeping myself alive, blah blah blah, and my love of it slowly slipped to the wayside. However, my husband never let his love of it slip. He’s been in many professional and amateur productions over the nearly ten years I have known him, and I always admire the joy he gets from it. He made his solo directing debut last year for the same company we just performed Legally Blonde with and I somehow got roped into helping. You are looking at the best props girlie and producer in the local area, if I do say so myself (imagine a confident, Elle Woods inspired hair flick here, okay?).
Well, I started to make friends with the cast and saw the way they performed on stage, and the FOMO started to creep in. “Wouldn’t it be good to get back to performing?” that little voice in my head would say. “You’ve always loved singing, and hey, you have rhythm! You could try and dance!” But a louder voice would speak up and say “Yeah. It would be good. But I’m too busy, too stressed, too ill…” Think of every reason under the sun and my brain would say it. That’s until that quiet little subconscious voice decided to shout; “Just do it. You’ll regret it if you don’t”. Thank you quiet little voice, you were right.
So at the tail end of 2023, I auditioned to get into the society. Now that was terrifying. Performing a song and monologue in front of people you don’t really know, and them deciding your local future? Scary. Then it was time to audition for the show, which was slightly less terrifying than the first audition, but still anxiety inducing. BAM, you’re in, and it’s rehearsal time.
Six months later, and we are all wrapped up. It’s quite jarring to go from having occupied evenings for months to now having nothing to do. What am I meant to do on Tuesdays and Thursdays now? I’m not too sure. I can feel my hands beginning to itch.
Well, I am sure of one thing – allowing myself to engage in a hobby has filled my creative cup to the brim, has helped my mental health, and has allowed me to leave work and health worries at the door. Performing this show has genuinely been my first hobby since finishing university in 2017. I used to be an avid reader, but studying literature made that fall off. I still do read but never at the speed I once did. And blogging? Well, that started as a hobby but has drifted into a business too. But performing without being graded, without a motive other than enjoyment for myself and others has been a true blessing.
I am now learning skills for myself – not for work or for hustle culture. I am singing fun songs, learning a new skill in dance, making adult friends – and we all know how hard that can be. It’s been an absolute joy to do something simply for, well, joy.
At this moment in time, I am sitting here writing about my experience, and wondering what the next musical will be, so I can do it all over again. And isn’t that wonderful?
Thanks for reading,
Rosie x
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